Day Nine: The Zombie Apocalypse

This was our last full day of ministry in Tenali. We started out the day attending a service at the largest Harvest India church. There were so many people there that some were sitting outside of the building. After the service the church wanted to feed us. This meal was a struggle. We ate off of giant palm leaves. The food was weird textures and spicy. Not at all sure what I was eating. To be honest, I swallowed most of my food whole, praying the entire meal that the Lord would make my stomach strong enough to take it. I made it through.

We piled into the vans after lunch to go to another water well dedication. Before lunch a couple of our teammates got really sick, and on the drive to and from the dedication quite a few more got sick as well.  We were originally going to attend another english speaking service in the early evening, but because about half of our team was sick at this point, including our leaders Lauri and Daniel, we decided to take that time to rest at the house instead.

When we got back all the healthy teammates gathered on the rooftop to reassign speaking and drama parts for the night outreaches in case those who were sick were not healthy enough to participate. Before we started planning we decided to pray for all who were sick. When we opened our eyes we had lost four more healthy teammates.

The sickness came on so quickly. Someone would feel fine one second, a little off the next, and within the next two minutes they'd be too sick to move. Like a zombie apocalypse. Only about 14 of us were still healthy at this point, but Daniel told us we would be doing the outreaches no matter what, so we got ready.

We split off into our two teams and went to our outreaches. Quite a few more teammates got sick on the drives to and from the outreach. Everyone who was assigned to speak on my team were all sick, but were such troopers they were determined to speak no matter how they felt.

On the drive there I was feeling pretty attacked again. One of our teammates said this sickness must be the enemy trying to keep us from preaching the gospel, which I agreed with. And as grateful as I was to not be sick, the question of why kept coming up in my head. I was being told over and over the reason I was healthy was because I was not enough of a threat to the enemy to need to be taken out. Hearing that lie repeated in my head left me with an overwhelming need to worship God, so I sat softly singing any verse from any worship song I could think of.

I heard two words from God as I got off of the bus, "Be my hands and feet tonight" and "celebrate."

There was a small group of children waiting for us so I got as excited as I could and tried to direct their attention away from the teammates throwing up in the bushes. We started the service and I kept hearing celebrate being spoken in my head. So when the song we danced to at the pastors conference was sung, and Amanda asked me if I wanted to dance, I went for it. We danced like we were from India.

My favorite thing about this picture is everyone else's faces. So much joy. 

It's contagious. Much like the zombie apocalypse, but in a good way.

Our teammates went up to speak, and they spoke with such honesty and authority. I was so proud of them. The power went out half way through our first speaker, but we found a headlamp and continued teaching anyway. At the end of the service a few women accepted Christ for the first time. It was well worth the struggle.

By the time both teams got back to the house only six of us were still healthy. So Abbie and I decided to take our bug tents up to the roof to sleep there. We talked about all of the great things we had seen God do during our time in India and fell asleep under the stars. It was the best way to end such a wonderful trip.

Day Eight: By His Wounds You Have Been Healed

After the VBS ended but before dinner we had a little bit of down time. Chris, Sloane, Amanda, Robbyn and I were sitting around talking, and Sloane mentioned that she was feeling really sick. Chris suggested that we pray healing over her. So we did. I have a really hard time with praying for healing. It is one of those areas that tests my faith. I know God has and can heal, but catch myself believing he won't because I have seen it happen so infrequently. After praying for Sloane nothing happened, and I can't say I was surprised.

Robbyn mentions her knee had been bothering her all day and asked if we could pray for that as well. We pray, she tests out her knee, and it's better. We pray for Amanda who had a really bad sinus headache, and later that night as we worshipped it went away. Chris realizes I didn't ask for prayer (I had a really bad cold the whole time we were there) and he tells me to let them pray for me.

Even after seeing Robbyn being healed I was still pretty sure nothing would happen, but decided to let God take what little amount of faith I had in his power to heal and run with it. They prayed and I still felt about the same, but realize that I was able to talk and to swallow without my throat feeling like it was on fire. We were all amazed at what God had done and continued to pray, prayers of thanksgiving this time.

During dinner my thoughts went back and forth from gratefulness to be able to eat without pain and frustration because God chose to heal me. During our time in India we asked God to heal countless times. I felt as if I could list tons of healings we had asked of him that were far more important than my sore throat. Healing from cancer, healing from HIV, healing from leprosy. In my mind God had not come through for these people.

I kept struggling with it until we started worshipping together after everyone's feet had been washed. I was reminded of the main things I could tell God had been trying to teach me on the trip. The first was the lesson of his relentless love. He loves because of who he is, in his own time. For his glory. The other lesson was to celebrate because of who he has proven himself to be over and over.

I realized there was no way I could answer why he chose to heal me. I could not explain it, but I could accept it. I could worship him because of it. So I sang louder, worshipped as wholeheartedly as I could. Not because I felt I had to, not because it was required of me. But as a response to how good God has been to me.

Day Eight: Beautiful Are the Feet

After our goodbyes to the children we went to Suresh and Christina's home for dinner. After our team ate we asked to serve dinner to the Harvest India staff. After they ate we asked to wash their feet. They were resistant at first, but they allowed us to serve them in this way.

There were more women on our team than female staff members, so Abbie and I paired up to was one woman's feet. This woman works with the younger grades at a school created for children of families who fall below the poverty line in surrounding villages. She, like most of the women, was very shy with us at first but as we started washing her feet she started smiling and then laughing. We were able to pray over her afterward and bless her and her ministry. It was this sweet time of giving back.

After all of the women had their feet washed we realized that both Suresh's wife, Christina, and his oldest daughter, Mercy, had not gotten their feet washed. Lauri washed Christina's feet and I volunteered to wash Mercy's.

I went to find Mercy, she was inside of her house. I told her I wanted to wash her feet and she was super resistant to the idea. She is kind of a shy personality to begin with, so this was something she definitely did not want to do. But I told her I was doing it, and she came outside with me. She let me wash her feet, although I am pretty sure she hated it the whole time. After I washed her feet I asked to pray for her. She understands english and speaks it pretty well, so this was the only time on the trip where I was able to pray for someone and they understood what I was saying.

I was reminded of this passage in Isaiah 52:7, "How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, 'Your God reigns.'" I felt the need to bless Mercy because she is participating in ministry, spreading the good news, at such a young age. I was able to encourage her and let her know that she is doing a great work already. I was able to tell her that her heavenly Father delights in her. She and I both were crying by the end of the prayer.

As I was emptying out the water buckets used to wash the women's feet I felt a pull on my punjabi, and turned around to find Mercy asking to wash my feet. I sat down and both she and her younger sister, Nancy, washed my feet. 

I could learn so much from that girl. At such a young age, her entire life is dedicated to serving Jesus. And she does it so naturally, with such humility. Her servitude to Christ is for no other reason than gratitude for all she has watched Him do. 

Day Eight: I Will Give Thee A Crown of Life

Today was bittersweet, it was the last day of VBS. The last time we would see the beautiful little faces of the kids we had so quickly grown to love. The last day of little hands holding onto our arms, our legs, our clothes. The last day of their little giggles and smiles.

With the first group of kids, the craft was already proving to be chaotic. We were making noisemakers that had to be strung together and filled with beans. It was a madhouse. Shortly after the group started my little Anita came in and gave me a huge hug. I asked her why she was there so early, since her group did not come in to crafts until the end of the day. She smirked, pointed at me, gave me another hug and ran off. That precious girl's hug carried me through the day.

We were allowed to serve the kids their lunch. That was a blast. They are so full of energy and life. I was laughing the entire time. Especially when some of the boys started doing the gangnam style dance. Too much laughter.

I was smothered with children's hugs and kisses all day long. I am pretty sure that is what heaven is going to be like, if it's not I may have to ask God to do me a solid and make my heaven that way. I've already asked him to make me an Indian woman in heaven. Might as well go all out right?

After the afternoon worship Suresh and Christina called each one of our team members up to thank each one of us. It felt so strange to be thanked for doing the VBS, since for me the VBS blessed me more than I could bless.

After worship all of the kids were given paper crowns to wear and we went on a parade to the nearest village where Chris was asked to preach the message of the gospel. I was constantly being asked the question "Sister, you come back next year?" It never got any easier to answer. So I decided the best response was an "I hope so" and to hold the girls in closer to me. I didn't know if I could come back, but I knew I could love them in that moment.

When we got back to the Harvest India campus we stayed for a long time to play with the kids. We danced and sang, played on the playground, played tag. I could have stayed with them for much longer. But the sun went down and we had to say goodbye. Hardest goodbye ever.

Day Seven: America Akka

It was a relatively easy day. We had a simple craft for the kids to do, braiding friendship bracelets. The first two groups went by really quickly. During the second group I had one boy ask me to pray for him. As soon as I opened my eyes I was surrounded by little boys asking for prayer. Being able to bless them in this way was such a privilege.

We went to Swaroop (one of the Harvest India staff members) and his wife's home for lunch. They recently had moved to a home owned by a Hindu family. He told us to join with him in praying for their salvation. I am so amazed by the boldness that both Suresh, Swaroop, and their families have. They have seen and trust that God work in mightily ways. As a group we prayed over the family as well as for a lady who's cancer had returned for the second time.

We returned for the second half of the VBS, more crafting. I was super excited when the last group came in (the group my girls were in). Anita, Saree, and Naga came up and gave me a bunch of hugs. While we were doing the crafts I stayed by them to talk. They were asking me questions about home and families. They asked the names of all my family members as well as my friends. I asked if they wanted to see pictures, they did. I had printed out three pictures to bring with me, one of me with my mom, one with my brother, and one with my best friend. After showing them the pictures, they asked to keep them. They told me they wanted to pray for me every day.

I walked with them over to the afternoon worship, and sweet Naga held my hand the whole way. She kept saying something to me over and over, America Akka. It was in Telugu, so I had no idea what she was saying. Later I was talking with Chris and Amanda and they were telling me all the words in Telugu they had learned (those two have memories that amaze me). Amanda said the word for little sister and then said the word for big sister was akka. Naturally I start crying realizing the sweetness of the moment earlier with Naga. 

We went to the pastor's conference again that evening and walk into them already worshipping. All the women and men were in the front dancing. Amanda drags me out there to dance with them (I don't dance) and we danced for what felt like forever. Dancing has never been something I considered to be a way to worship God, probably because I am so uncomfortable with it and it is not something we often see here in America. But in India, it is such an obvious way to worship. They worship with their whole selves, all of their body, voices, hearts and minds.

Oh, also we rode rickshaws to VBS this morning. Bucket list item accomplished. Our rickshaw was also hit by a water buffalo. You read that right, the buffalo hit us, not the other way around.

Day Six: Taka ding a ding…uh huh, uh huh!!

First day of VBS. We were all really excited about it and felt as prepared as we could be, but who can really say they are prepared to handle 1500 children?

VBS was being held at Harvest India's main campus; it was for the Harvest India children as well as many other children who were invited from the surrounding areas. we had four rotations the children went through, story, memory verse, games and crafts. I was in the craft rotation.

On the drive over I was feeling very heavy and was singing the song "Break Every Chain" over and over in my head. It didn't help much. As I was sitting there Sloane leaned over and read this to me "Don't be afraid, for you will not be put to shame! Don't be intimidated, for you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame you experienced in your youth; you will not remember the disgrace of your abandonment." (Isaiah 54:4) I wasn't sure exactly why, but it resonated deeply with me in that moment and I was crying again.

But I stepped out of the van and there were two lines of hundreds of smiling children ready with flowers to throw at us and, much like the day before when I saw those three girls, a deep joy resurfaced in me. It did not take away the sadness, but it overwhelmed it.

We worshiped with the kiddos at the beginning and at the end of the day. It was the most fun at the end of the day when we could join them out in the crowd to dance alongside them.

Crafts was fun but was definitely a test of my patience. Being surrounded by 300 children at a time tugging at your clothes, calling "Sister, Sister,"wanting your help with their craft whether or not they actually needed it is exhausting. We had some trouble finishing the crafts on time. But I figured these children just wanted our attention because they needed love. And if that meant I would have to play patty cake games, pray with them, or go back and forth pointing to things to call "super" instead of finishing the craft, it was well worth it. 

My favorite group was the last group to come in. It was a group of older girls and in that group I met three of the most wonderful little ladies ever, Naga, Anita and Saree. Anita recognized me from earlier and so her natural first question was to ask if I remembered her name. I did not so I promptly asked her if she remembered mine. She laughed shook her head no and introduced herself and her friends to me. They had been with Harvest India for a while so they spoke english pretty well. I was able to talk with them about quite a few things.

After crafts we got to worship again and so I went out to dance with a group of little girls. They all crawled into my lap and wanted to show me their henna. They kept checking my hands to see if I had any, which I didn't, so instead I showed them the cross tattoo on my shoulders. They loved it. 

These kids were unwanted by so many. But they love so well. 

That evening we lead a church service for a pastors conference Harvest India was hosting. Harvest India invited all the pastors and their wives in the surrounding areas to a three day conference. We led worship as well as preached a sermon. Those pastors and their wives can really dance.

Romans 8 popped into my head during the day. In my downtime, when I would start to feel depressed again I would read it over and over. One verse in particular stood out to me, verse 33, which says "who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own?" It was a reminder that all the lies the enemy was placing in my mind were things that have no power over me anymore, for God had chosen me to be there in that moment in India. It became the verse I would speak over and over when those lies arose. 

There is power in the name of Jesus.

Day Five: A New Family, An India Family

Shayna and I had have an ongoing joke as a result of this day. We were assigned to each other as travel buddies at the beginning of the trip, and at the airport she warned me that she cries all of the time. I told her since I never cry, we could balance each other out. She cried maybe once on the trip, from here on I cried multiple times daily.

I woke up feeling pretty out of it, but went up to the roof to read my Bible anyway. When I sat down to read, I just started crying. Couldn't read or pray or anything except for cry. So I asked Shayna, Amanda, and Sloane to pray over me. I was already feeling overwhelmed by all the lies I had been hearing, and knew I would need extra strength from Jesus.

Our first outreach for the day was a homeless outreach. These people walked for miles to come to the house we were staying at, so we could put on a service for them as well as provide out clothing. As soon as the service started I was crying, not for any reason in particular, but I couldn't stop. I cried through the entire service. As we started to walk through the crowd to pass out clothes, many of the women would place their hands on my feet and ask for prayer. When I tried to pray over them I would start crying again, and not be able to get any words out. I had to trust in Romans 8:26 which states "the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirt himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words."

After the service we returned to the house and I started telling Christina, one of the team members who I find to be unbelievably wise, about what was going on with me this morning. Since I was frustrated with the crying and how it was keeping me from engaging with God in the ways I was use to, she mentioned that maybe I should just stop trying to meet with him in my usual ways and learn to sit in the presence of my Father. At that point Joy had pulled out her guitar and was singing away. I decided to sit at her feet, not to join in with worship, but to just sit with Jesus.

As soon as I sat down another teammate, Vanessa, came beside me and told me she felt she had a word for me. She said she felt as if God told her He saw me sitting on my bed alone, and He was with me. She called out all the lies I had been hearing, repeating them in the exact words I had heard, something I had not told anyone about at this point. She then said although I felt God had left me, He was actually closer to me than anyone on the trip. Naturally, I start sobbing. Other teammates gathered around, praying for me, reading verses over me, and Joy singing over me. Eventually I opened my eyes to see that I was no longer the only one crying, we all were. 

I have never felt family so closely as in that moment.

We went to a New Years Day church service after in a nearby village. I was asked to MC which felt pretty opposite of the day I was having. So far all of the MCs had been bubbly and pumped up and excited. None of which were me.

As we pulled up, I had no idea how this was going to go. Amanda Compton asked if I wanted someone else to MC, but I felt strongly that I needed to MC even more so, because I felt this way. I looked out the window and saw these three beautiful girls dressed in their best and brightest outfits walking up to the church. They smiled and waved at us, and although I was deeply sad, I felt this deep joy alongside it.

Somehow I got through the service. I wasn't peppy or bouncing off of the walls, but I did get to proclaim God's truth. The enemy was trying to rob me of the joy I had in Christ. But this joy is not a joy that can be taken away. It is mine forever because I am being made new. And the New Year is a reminder of this.

We had a pretty chill evening. Suresh and Christina had us over to their home for dinner. Suresh spoke about the background of Harvest India, how he became a Christian, and told some other stories. It felt like a family dinner with all of us sitting around two long tables, eating and laughing.