Day Three: Must You Rebel Forever?

"Must you rebel forever? Your head is injured and your heart is sick. You are battered from head to foot -- covered with bruises, welts & infected wounds -- without any soothing ointments or bandages. Your country lies in ruins and your towns are burned." Isa. 1:5-7

 Wake up feeling compelled to read that generally means your day is gonna be a doozy. This day definitely fit that description. I woke up feeling convicted about the ways I was serving God.

I have this tendency to do things for God because I know it is the right thing to do, or because I think that I owe him something. After all, I'm a terrible sinner. I need to make up for all the times I have messed up. Right? Wrong. That totally makes salvation about me and not at all about God. He forgives because graciousness is who he is. Bill Dogterom stated it this way in a sermon, "He doesn't love us because we are lovely, he loves us because it is who he is.

I find myself in this cycle where, if I do not hear from God in the ways I expect from him, I try to be extra obedient or devout as if that will make him pay attention to me again. Instead of resting in his presence and actually being obedient to his will, I run around trying to do my own thing, end up messing up everything, and stop spending time with Jesus. This verse was a call to evaluate myself. To see that was not doing so hot on my own, to look in the mirror and see I am being battered and bruised simply because I won't run to my Father to protect me.

So I cried out to God this morning on our beautiful rooftop. In my journal I wrote, "I no longer want to run from you, I don't want to put walls up because I don't believe in the unconditional nature of your love, in the repetitiveness of your mercy." I am pretty sure that's the best way to start a day. Ever.