It is crazy how busy one can be, even when unemployed. Thus the lateness of this post. We had our first India Training last Sunday afternoon. It got me really excited, as well as nervous, for what we will be doing when we get to India.
The leaders of the team gave us a run down on what to expect for our trip, the overall summary being to not have any expectations, excluding the expectation that we all will get sick at least once on this trip.
According to the most recent conversation had with Suresh Kumar, these are ways in which he wants us to support Harvest India while we are there:
-Visit the AIDs hospital and the patients there
-Assist hospital staff in dressing and bandaging wounds
-Cooking and serving weekly dinner to those with leprosy
-Visit and minister to women in the red light district
-Run a VBS for a group of 1000 orphans
-Assist in running a three day long conference for pastors and their wives, approximately 600 people
-Run a church service four nights a week in surrounding village areas
Not every person on our team will be involved in the areas above. If I am being honest, which I am since I promised vulnerability, there are definitely some areas of ministry I don’t want to do. Actually, not wanting to do them is not accurate (with the exception of cleaning wounds... I will only be able to do that through the power of the Holy Spirit, otherwise I will pass out or throw up).
I am overwhelmed by the realization that these ministries I am being asked to be a part of are so much bigger than I am. What could I possibly have to say to someone in an AIDs hospital who knows they will die from this disease? How do I encourage a pastor and his wife who are in non-stop ministry to their communities? Could anything I have been through even remotely relate to the pain and hurt of a woman whose situation is desperate enough to leave her with no other option but to sell her body?
In my thoughts about this trip since the training, the overarching feeling I have had is a sense of being unqualified. In my head, I know the Holy Spirit in my life is all I need to qualify me and He is the one who will do the work through me. Yet, I am terrified to make it to India, be put in these situations, and the Holy Spirit not show up. Not because I believe God isn’t dependable, but because I am afraid He may believe I am not good enough to be used by Him.
I definitely need prayer for this. I want to be confident in God’s desire to use me, but humble enough to know I can do nothing without Him.
No comments:
Post a Comment